10 Controversial Travel Etiquette Rules You Might Be Violating

If you’ve ever been in a silent battle with the person next to you for control over your shared armrest on a plane, you’ll appreciate this advice from Elaine Swann, a travel etiquette expert and founder of the Swann School of Protocol: “When it comes to armrests, it is one armrest per passenger. Typically, the armrest that has your media and electrical outlets will be the one you use. If you are comfortable speaking with your seatmate, have a short conversation and compromise with them. Two elbows can share a single armrest better than two arms.”

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Reclining your seat is the most hotly debated travel etiquette question out there. Some people view it as their right, while others see it as unspeakably rude.

Etiquette expert Courtney Fadler says: “Unless you are on a very long cross-country or international flight, the best etiquette rule of thumb is not to recline your seat. There is very little space for legroom, and reclining seats take that much more away from the person behind you. If you are on a very long flight (i.e. international flight) and will be reclining your seat for sleep or otherwise, make sure the person behind you is not in the middle of eating their dinner on the tray table before you recline. You can even take that extra step of consideration and ask them if it’s okay if you recline your seat for a while.”

You’re running late for your flight (or connection), and there’s a vast airport security/customs line. You’ll never make it. What do you do? Should you politely wait in line and miss your flight? Beg the people in front of you to let you cut?

I see two good options here: Throw yourself at the mercy of the people in front of you, asking them to let you go ahead so you can make your flight (I’ve seen this happen many times, and passengers rarely say no to a polite and desperate request); or find a TSA agent/airport employee to explain your situation too—they will usually help you skip the line to make your flight. But don’t cut without a good reason … and a reasonable explanation for your fellow passengers.

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It’s a moral dilemma when someone asks you to switch seats on a plane so that they can sit next to their travel companion, especially if you’ve carefully selected (or possibly paid extra for) for your seat.

My view: The person asking for the swap should give up a better seat for a worse seat—for example, if they are in a window seat, the offer must be to switch with someone in a middle. That way everyone wins. If that’s not possible, ask the flight attendant for help. He or she can hopefully rearrange a few people to make everyone happy.

Looking forward to a quiet flight so that you can nap or read your book, but the person next to you has other plans? Follow this advice from the Emily Post Institute: “If you can’t choose your environment, create your own. Bring an eye shade for napping, and use headphones to listen to music or movies (whether in the terminal or on the plane), or earplugs to block out unwanted conversations. If your seatmate won’t stop chatting with you, smile and say, ‘Well, it’s been nice speaking with you. I’m going to read for a bit now.’”

Thanks to the rising cost of paying to check your bag, everyone wants to cram their belongings into the biggest carry-on bag allowed. Overhead bin space has become sacred and can cause some friction between passengers. To avoid this, place only one item in the overhead bin, and keep smaller personal items under the seat in front of you. Place your bag on its side, with the handle facing out, and, if you are sitting in the back, don’t stash your bag upfront. It’s rude.

One of my favorite Instagram accounts is Passenger Shaming, which shows airplane passengers who violate everything on this list, but most of all, this particular one. Please avoid clipping our nails, putting on perfume, brushing your hair, or removing your shoes when you’re on a plane. No one wants to see (or smell) that.

To me, this seems like plane riding 101, but for some reason, people just cannot get it. If you have a later boarding group, when boarding begins, please just sit while the other groups go. If you patiently wait for your boarding group and don’t crowd the gate, that will help boarding go smoothly. When you land, let the rows ahead of you exit first. If your flight is delayed and you have a connecting flight you are afraid you are going to miss, speak to the flight attendant before you land. They may let you sit in an empty seat towards the front, or, if there are several passengers with a close connection, sometimes they will announce that everyone needs to remain seated until the connecting passengers get off. If, for some reason, you need to reorganize your belongings before you deplane, don’t do it while standing in the aisle. Stay in your seat and let the people behind you get off.

No one needs to hear the sound effects of a game you are playing or the dialogue of the show or movie you are watching, so make sure you use headphones. Keep the brightness low on your phone as well, you don’t need to create a spotlight on overnight flights when they dim the lights.

I have been on several flights that had a person speaking so loudly you’d think they had an announcement for the whole plane. I once was on a luxury bus ride where they encouraged “confidential tones” when talking to other passengers or on your phone. Use this rule on an airplane, too. Limit your voice to a “confidential tone.” If you are traveling with a baby or young kids, bring plenty of quiet activities and snacks to entertain them.