There’s one on every flight: that super-creepy flyer who thinks all social norms disappear once the plane reaches cruising altitude. Don’t be that guy (or gal). Here’s our list of the creepiest things you can do on a plane. Add your own in the comments at the end.
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Hit on Someone
"Perfect," you think to yourself. "I'm seated next to a hottie in a confined space where she has no chance of escape for the next few hours. How about I make her wildly uncomfortable by hitting on her? Oh wait … let me slip off my wedding ring first. Now it's go time."
If you really think you've met the love of your life on an airplane, keep the conversation light and non-creepy. To keep your prey from feeling uncomfortable, wait until you're getting off the plane to slip him or her your contact information or propose a date.
Hit on Someone
"Perfect," you think to yourself. "I'm seated next to a hottie in a confined space where she has no chance of escape for the next few hours. How about I make her wildly uncomfortable by hitting on her? Oh wait … let me slip off my wedding ring first. Now it's go time."
If you really think you've met the love of your life on an airplane, keep the conversation light and non-creepy. To keep your prey from feeling uncomfortable, wait until you're getting off the plane to slip him or her your contact information or propose a date.
Stare Into Space
No in-flight entertainment, no book, no problem. I'll just sit here totally upright and stare blankly into space, not moving a muscle for the duration of this five-hour flight. Close my eyes and rest? That would be weird.
Is it just us, or are people who stare into space on flights weird? What are they thinking about? Are they planning to overthrow the plane? Are they air marshals? So many questions!
Utilize Virgin's Seat-to-Seat Chat
Hey, remember Internet chat rooms? The cool '90s places inside your '90s desktop PC where you could strike up a conversation just by asking A/S/L? Let's bring that back to people stuck inside an airplane! We're not sure there's any possible way to use Virgin America's Seat-to-Seat Chat (a messaging system that lets passengers initiate conversations with each other) without being creepy. What do you even say? "Hey there, 16A, I've been watching you from the back of the plane for the last hour, and I wanted to say hi …"
Watch Porn
You know that your computer screen isn't only visible to you, right? We (and the people in the seats next to and behind you) are wondering why you thought this was a good time and place to view that porn you've got downloaded on your laptop. Bonus creepy points if you think you're being subtle, like this guy.
Send a Drink
It's a sleazy move when you do it in a bar, and it's even creepier when you enlist a flight attendant to send a drink to an attractive passenger. We're not going to condemn this one completely, because lots of people would be down for some free booze on a plane. But at least ask the target of your affection if he or she wants a drink, rather than randomly depositing a Bloody Mary on his or her tray.
Get Wasted
Speaking of in-flight drinks, getting completely inebriated is always a weird thing to do on a plane. One wrong move and you're going to wake up with a hangover and a court summons. Drunken behavior is not tolerated on airplanes, and for good reason. Charming as you think you are, your fellow passengers probably aren't enchanted by your loud slurring.
Invade Personal Space
Falling asleep on your seatmate's shoulder, manspreading, pressing your arm up against the person next to you on the armrest—the list goes on. Do what we were all taught in kindergarten and keep your limbs to yourself.
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