It’s April Fools’ Day. If you’re just realizing this, you can breathe a sigh of relief because that terrible thing your boss, spouse, or local police officer just told you is probably all a big joke. Travel companies—from airlines to media sites—are joining the lampoonery too. Today’s the one day when we can fashion ourselves after The Onion, crafting biting satire and offering up bizarre travel deals. Here are some of the best April Fools’ jokes we’ve seen so far.
Find Way More Than a Flight with Kayak
Today, airfare aggregator Kayak announced its newest service, Kayak Dates. The innovative tool is essentially a date aggregator. It lets lovelorn users search the listings of hundreds of dating sites within a single platform. According to a press release from the company, “Daters can search for potential matches based on location, age and gender. Users can filter and sort results by dating characteristics and personality traits, in exactly the same manner as they would filter hotel or flight results. Once people find a profile they like, they can select one of the many booking options in order to request a date.”
Gadling Leaks Exclusive United Memo
Gadling has uncovered a secret internal memo that United sent out regarding a new super-elite class of flyers: Global Services Plus. In the memo, the airline describes this entitled breed of travelers, who must be carried around the airport in new UnitedLitters. Global Services Plus members are permitted to sexually harass flight crew. And airline staff must always laugh at their jokes. According to the memo, in the event of a customer-service mishap, “an employee may either choose to self-flagellate or may opt to have a supervisor administer the punishment in the presence of the Global Services Plus member. You must continue administering the punishment until the Global Services Plus member says, ‘enough.'”
JetBlue Makes Fun of Remote Destinations
JetBlue announced new service to what the airline calls “some of the farthest-reaching dots on the globe:” Papua New Guinea; Manitoba, Canada; and Coolangatta, Australia. A video produced by the airline pokes fun at the destinations. I imagine some hardworking tour guide in Coolangatta is now deeply offended.
Southwest Has a New Fleet of Guess What
Not to be outdone by arch-rival JetBlue, Southwest has announced that it now operates a fleet of hot air balloons. The trip from Boston to Denver via basket takes 31 hours, depending on wind speed. But bags float free, so this is arguably a better option than a domestic flight in an overcrowded legacy carrier.
The Worst (or Maybe the Best?) Flash Sale, Ever!
Book a stay at Aunt Gertie’s House in Humdrum U.S.A. on our sister site Sniqueaway. You can sleep in the spare room with the cats or on the living-room sofa adjacent to the kitchen, where “Uncle Morty” bangs around at 4:30 a.m. Amenities include “dog-walking activities” and “driveway basketball court with complimentary deflated-basketball rentals.” Though comical, this situation may not be far off from the reality of the odd Airbnb rental. Read the reviews, guys.
WestJet Eases Pet Restrictions
WestJet is now allowing bigger and better pets in the cabin. These pets include “any type of animal that fits safely onboard.” You can use your imagination here. Or just watch the video (because it has cute animals in it):
(Photo: April Fools’ Day via Shutterstock)